Mother's Day....

So...in a week it is Mother's day. 

There are so many reminders of it...flower stores, ads through email, ads on Facebook. All of them constant reminders of the thing that I don't have;  Abby.  As if I need another reminder...

I think that I don't want to hate Mother's day, but I think that I might ~ In my head I know that it is just another day, but in my heart it is a reminder of my failure as a mom; that I couldn't keep my child safe.  

For me it should be just another Sunday....However, it won't be.  I will be thinking about all the mom's that get cards and gifts. I will be wondering what my friend's families will be doing for them.  I will be thinking about what I would be doing for my mother if she were alive, and I will be thinking about my daughter.  What she would be like today and...I will be sad.

I don't know what to do with that day... 

As a therapist I know that answer...I will be reminding myself about good self-care, allowing myself to feel, allowing for the sadness.  I will be extra nice to myself, and cherish the love that my husband gives.

and..I will miss Abby, miss my mom and be among the many that are missing their angel babies as well.